This Has Got To Stop


I, like a lot of people have decided to keep my opinions on the tragedy that took place in Ferguson, MO where young #MikeBrown lost his life, somewhat mute, until the piercing feeling of outrage was felt.

Yup, folks I’m there, I am currently in sate of outrage directed toward quite a few sources. First, the media, for its disgusting portrayal of the true story line, the facts associated with the case, and the lack of any positive light being shed over any area of the issue. Second, the authorities of Missouri for mishandling the case from the start and the inability to maintain order, while appropriately protecting and serving its citizens. Third, #newblack people acting brand new to racism and directly blaming their fellow Black people for the way the tragedy unfolded. And lastly my people for allowing “The Man” to set us up for so long.

The media. As much love and respect that I have for the media and mass communications community, the lost of integrity and half truths being delivered to the masses is alarming. It absolutely disgusts me to watch Fox news and any of it’s sister stations, but to see CNN and MSNBC take similar stories and platform guests and allow them to spew bias and lies, no Sir. Fox News, since when does identifying a person as to having marijuana in their system during an autopsy investigation news worthy? When you are a unarmed Black male, being killed by a white police officer any piece of negativity is assumed evidence to justify the killing, right? As much as I hate to make this statement, I admit I have turned to social networks to stay updated and informed about the events that are transpiring in the #MikeBrown case. Fuck the news. The way this particular event is being played out on the major news outlets baffles me. Like where is the regulation, the validation, and the justification for some of the news stories and discussion panels that are being aired, any one?

The media is only showing what they want the people to see. Nothing new. We only see short snippets of the peaceful rallies and non-violent demonstrations that are taking place across the nation. You don’t get to see the huge number of supporters that turn out each day to protest peacefully. But you do see the small percentage of outrage protesters that are feed up beyond belief and display their frustration in the typical nigger essence. Become violent. You do see large numbers of people of all races being arrested daily, but the media does not show them being released due to lack of reasons to hold them nor the police brutality. The media will allow you to see some of the very crafty, witty and dead on signs created by protesters. But that is only to bring more spotlight and viewer ratings to their station to further discuss their agenda. To ensure they have an audience to scrutinize and pick out everything wrong with that picture.

The authorities. Did the law officials and enforcement of Ferguson, MO, really think they could just brush this tragedy under the rug without any form of repercussion, back-lash, or reverberation from the community? An unarmed, young, Black, male being shot multiple times in broad daylight, in the middle of his neighborhood, by a white male police officer as he surrendered, and you thought no one would say anything about it?

officer on the loose

I truly think this is what the authorities expected. My theory is evident by the slow reaction by authorities addressing the public. The delay of pertinent information and case details being communicated to the people. This delay actually was the fuel to the communities outrageous fire. Once the citizens of the community noticed that they were out numbered and unheard, they took it upon themselves to up the ante. Only then did the police and authority of Ferguson begin to take action. Almost, anytime you take action after a reaction, 99.9% of the time it’s too late. And you see how this story plays out. Military tanks, strong arm tactics, tear gas, violations of amendment rights, unfair control tactics, all because the authorities were a little tardy to the party.

Only after, what, day 8 of protest and a city on the edge, did the authorities of Ferguson began to answer some of the communities concerns. The ah-ha moment, when authorities actually realized the citizens had something to say, after they have been deprived of that simple freedom. Only, after 2 nights straight of violence and unethical control tactics by enforcement and the community, did some sort of “we hear you citizens,” occur.

Highway patrol Captain Ronald Johnson issues a statement.

“And beyond the investigation itself, we will work with the police, civil rights leaders, and members of the public to ensure that this tragedy can give rise to new understanding- and robust action-aimed at bridging persistent gaps between law enforcement officials and the communities we serve.” 

Again, too little to late.

#NewBlack.  The twitterverse has recently introduced me to the term #NewBlack.  This term is used to describe famous or affluent Black people who are so privileged that they may not experience the same strife and injustice as us regular Black folk encounter. Sometimes they side with opponents believing that racism no longer exists. They are so far out of touch with other Black folks that they point the finger at Black folks and say we are the cause for such injustice and racism.

Pharrell a leader of the #NewBlack stated recently in an interview with Oprah;

“The New Black doesn’t blame other races for our issues. The New Black dreams and realizes that it’s not pigmentation: it’s a mentality and it’s either going to work for you or it’s going to work against you. And you’ve got to pick the side you’re going to be on.”

Really Pharrell, so all the racial injustice, police brutality, and profiling that a Black person experiences is in our mentality and not the pigmentation?  Do non Blacks know this, because they are usually the ones that make our mentality a reality.

One #NewBlack went on a rant stating that if Black people would got out and voted more, than none of the injustice and so called racism that is being experienced would exist. I can agree to a certain extent that our people do not make up half as much of the voting community as non Blacks.  But I don’t think the reason Black people don’t vote is because we are too lazy to go to the polls.  I feel there are a number of reasons; 1. Voting hours, most polling places and hours are out of the convenience of struggling families working around the clock to merely survive, 2. Some people rather make no decisions rather a uninformed decision.  Some of these same  people do not have time to do the research on a particular person running for office.  So instead of blindly picking a person they have no information on, they would rather not partake in the voting process at all.  I don’t agree with this decision , but it is a decision that a lot of minority families make every time during election time. 3. Voting laws change all the time, If a voter gets turned away from one election, the likelihood of them returning to try again is slim to none.  

But is lack of voting the true reason?  As if a new law created from the government gods that would make any offense based on race to be an illegal offense punishable to the highest of courts, that would end racism? Really?  No mandate can change the way a person thinks, the beliefs that a person was instilled since birth, a way a person is taught from generation to generation.

is his life more

The sad truth is that white people have been formulated to believe that all non white people are a threat to them, so therefore their lives are less valuable. And the fact that the darker your skin tones create a higher sense of threat with a lower value of life. This is our truth.

White people know this as well as non white people, so it angers me to hear #newblack people say that we have overcome racism and discrimination ourselves before anyone else can. WTF?? We see it everyday how white people value just about everything else over a Black person’s life. Think about it,  any crime against a dog, would receive a more severe punishment than taking the life of a minority.  This white cop took the life an an unarmed Black male and the authorities have to review the case to see if charges will be brought against him, smh. George Zimmerman shot and killed unarmed Trayvon Martin even when authorities told him to stand down, he was acquitted of all charges. I could go on and on about different situations where you have to question is my Black life worth the same as yours?

But why when were all created equal, under God? 

Another #NewBlack person stated that protests and social media causes do not work.  Of course, this statement came from a very influential Black person that could easily reach out to the heads of major corporation, and to some powerful politicians and congressmen, to actually get things done. But for me and other people like the protesters across the nation, don’t have the privy of having such well connections.  This all we got! Yeah, the acting of protesting is out dated, but what are we left to do? How else could we bring national attention to a small-town demonstration of people uniting for justice? This is all we got.  And it worked. 


If it had not been for the many #MikeBrown, #Ferguson, #Dontshoot,#WeMatterToo, #Justice, then how else  could a vast number of people unite to discuss what going on, and to vent, and to share some of the same injustices on the other side of the globe.  Trust me it’s been working.  People have been flooding social media with the various hashtags combined with personal experiences to get people to notice, something has to change.  Writing a single letter to my congressman would not get the job done.  It took the masses to make a voice for people to take notice.  Hell, it took 3 days after #MikeBrown’s death before President Obama, was even briefed on the tragedy.  So what are the people left to do? Use the same approach as our forefathers used, protest to make a point. This all we got.

I, as a young Black woman, can definitely relate to the visibility and reality of racism, still to this day, almost on a daily basis. I have non Black co-workers that make comments and stereotype jokes, often without recognizing the bias and disrespect of their words. In the grocery store little old white women still use the term girl when asking for my help to reach something on a high shelf due to my height.  

I can recall once at grocery store in a particularly upscale area in Houston (I don’t live there, just shop there), a young Hispanic guy was ringing up my items. When he was done scanning everything he automatically hit the EBT/Lone Star button as the form of payment, without asking first.  I nor have I every been a recipient of government provided food benefits, I’ve defiantly tried to apply, so no shade.  But for the cashier to racial profile me, judge my groceries, and due to it being near the first of the month, he assumed I would be using a Lone Star card as my form of payment. This really bothered me,  I’m sure he didn’t intend to display poor judgement and racial profile to his customers, but that’s exactly what he did. 

Another time, I was in, Rocky Mountain, SC. I was working a promotion at a car dealership where they were giving away free turkey’s to all customers that came in and took a survey with me.  The line was wrapped around the building.  This one older white guy, dirty overalls, missing quite a few teeth, was my next interviewee.  The first thing that came out his raggedy mouth was, “Oh my, you look a whole lot lighter (skin tone) from the back of the line girl, and prettier too. Now give me my free turkey, girlie.”

Now my racism stories do not hold a candle to the stories that I hear daily, that Black men experience. I truly do share your pain.  So I find it very difficult to understand when people say racism no longer exists.  Yes, it does. People just have been experiencing racism for way too long, we kind of became immune to it.  And racist people have displayed their blatant racism for far too long, it apart of their lifestyle, their thought process.  No way to change that. 

And lastly, my people. My people we have got to better.  We have to better prepare ourselves mentally and physically to take on this harsh, unfair, unapologetic world that we live in.  I do agree that all minority parents have to have the talk with their minority children to get them to understand the rules of the game.To equip them with the tools and weapons necessary to fight the daily fight of survival.  

The first step is education.  No matter your economic status, your age, your location, we have to read more. We, my people, have to read.  There is no excuse, no short cut, no lack of resources that should prevent you from picking up a book to learn more, anything. You may not have access to the best books or the best education systems, but do not allow that to be a crutch.  I’ve learned that any form of reading can create an increased curiosity to pursue more knowledge.  Once you uncover one truth, you being to dig deeper and find yourself deep in a whole new wealth of knowledge, to a sense, that creates a whole new perspective on life.

The next step is to accept reality.  I am Black female. Your are a Black male.  We are minorities. Once we accept the fact that we are born into an un-level playing field, you can better prepare yourself for the obstacles that are sure to come. Don’t expect anything, but be grateful for everything.  Don’t expect life to easy, and without a fight, but accept all life’s challenges with grace and dignity. Preparation is key.

A strong foundation is another key element.  Anyone can build a foundation.  The single mother raising her minority son’s on her own can build a strong foundation of love and support.  She may not have the all the knowledge and the resources but a strong foundation does start with love.  She can love the hell out of her sons which means, she will go out and find the right people to help her family, she would do all she can to keep her family together, and work very hard to ensure their survival.  The young boys would see her effort and know that an important tool in survival is hard work and dedication.  The boy will grow up knowing that any challenge or obstacle can be overcome or achieved through hard work and determination.  

These are only my opinions, and penning this blog has help to alleviate some of my outrage and frustration that I have been experiencing. I do pray for #Justice in the tragedy of #MikeBrown. But I am a realist, and I know that Justice does not always fall in our favor.  I pray that our community does become stronger, and our foundation becomes more solid as we have all been affected by this issue.

Stay strong my people, and live long. And What I Said It.   


Damn Impulse Shopping


I have really grown tired of the new impulse internet shopping techniques that have grown quite popular recently. My concept of impulse internet shopping is; a sale event only taking place during a short window of time so you have to stop everything you are doing to shop these incredible, one of a kind deals.

There are numerous internet sites such as Hautelook, Zulily, ShoeMint, and plenty more. Promising the deal of a lifetime for limited edition collectibles.  Things you can only purchase this day, this moment, this second, or you will miss out forever.


I don’t like being forced into a deal.  What if I didn’t have the money to buy the one of a kind tiger print leggings on sale for $29.99 regular price $69.99? I don’t want to miss that deal, but I also don’t want to go without food and gas in my car.

I think this impulse shopping has created a boom in the payday loan industry. Nobody want to miss out on an incredible deal. And some people are more willing to do anything to get it. Like pay a total of $200 for a $100 payday loan to buy leggings at that moment to save only $40.  To somebody, somewhere that sounds logical.

So, after I buy these one of a kind tiger print leggings for $29.99 today only, I will no longer indulge in internet impulse shopping.

And what I said it.



Happy 420 to all the stoners! Except for Young Thug, I don’t like that guy. But anywho, I hope all is well in the land of the high.

This year I decided to take part in the Marley Fest in Austin, TX for commemoration. It was a totally awesome event. A very liberating experience.


Please excuse the lack of pics, I forgot to snap shots.

There was great weather, great reggae music, great festival food and shops, great vibes, and great people. Once you stepped off the elevator from a parking garage the fumes of fun filled the air.

There was such a diversity of stoners at the fest, I remember gazing amongst the folks and thinking this must be Utopia.


One thing was for sure the food lines were hella busy. The funnel cake line was like half a mile long, needless to say we patiently waited.

This was my first, but definitely not my last Marley Fest I attend. It’s not a stoners only event but you must be stoner tolerant.

Happy 420!

Happy Resurrection Sunday sinners,  and what I said it.

Why Lie?


Men, why lie? I am sick and tired of the petty lies, big life changing lies, mis-communication lies, testing lies, I’m single but have a wife and 10 kids at home lies, and all the other lies in between.

Guys lie about anything and everything. But why?  This post is a plea for answers…. And I don’t want that age old response that men lie so they won’t hurt you.  Fuck that.  They wouldn’t do the very action that would cause the hurt if that was the case.

True, women lie. But never to the extent of men.

Sometimes I think men lie for the sake of being able to do so. At times, we as women can fall victim to the deceit of a man.

Either by his slick word game, his inability to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but it, his dreamy/stoner eyes, or that thick dark and lovey beard. Whatever they use, we got to be strong ladies.

Be strong. That is all.

That’s the end of my rant. And what I said it.

Computer Love: Online Dating 2014


Okay so it’s 2014,  Yes I have tried online dating a few times. No really, I’m addicted to online dating.

It’s fun. I like being desired by all types of men from just about everywhere. And the whole dating thing is like an adventure to me. You never really know what to expect when you receive a new flirt or a message from a stranger. It’s like opening a mystery box each time. Too bad, sometimes it’s pandora’s box, but hey, you live and you learn.

I am new to the online dating scene, but I have learned a few tips that maybe helpful to survive in the game.


Lower your expectations, but never your standards. This means that handsome, single, successful doctor, with the great personality, perfect health, debt free, child free, 100% drama free man probably doesn’t exist online.  But the cute, lab tech, still living at home with his parents, tons of debt, low on cash, is really digging your online profile.  Be patient, he got that ambition baby!

And the lies. Men lie in real life all the time,  but virtually the lies are over the moon. It’s important to be attentive and pay attention to details, because he will tell you anything you want to hear.

Have an open mind. Step out of your comfort zone. If you only date a certain type of person, don’t discriminate against a different type approaching you. You can’t continue with the same behavior and expect different results. I’m just saying.

Don’t judge a book by its cover or it’s title.  Remember looks aren’t everything, they are something, just not everything. Guys don’t put as much thought as women do into choosing a profile pic or the content of their bio.

I ran across a nice looking piece of dark chocolate’s profile. On the race question he put mixed. Mixed? I was curious so I sent him a message:

Me: hey sexy chocolate, nice pics. I see you put mixed as your race, tell me more….
Him: Hi, hru? I’m not mixed I like mixed women
Me: O

Clearly he didn’t read the instructions on filling out the “about me” portion of the profile. Doesn’t mean he’s not a good guy, just not a bright guy.

Actually I’ve meet quite a few guys that are 100% better looking face-to-face than in their profile pics.

Now beware of the folks who still try to hold on to their looks from 10 years ago. Why post a picture of yourself 100 pounds lighter, with a full head of hair, in your best outfit, on your best day?  The truth will come to light one day. Save yourself the heartache and embarrassment, post recent and sensible pics.

It is very important to know what you want. If you are looking for a relationship, say that. If you only want a hook up, make that known. If you are looking for wifey or hubby,  be sure to make that clear, upfront. This helps to weed out people who are not looking for the same things you are. It saves a lot of time being openly honest upfront.

And lastly, forget everything you once thought about online dating. I admit,  I had a preconceived notion that only unattractive, freaks and geeks used online dating. I was so pleasantly surprised to see that it is nothing like that. We are living in a virtually enhanced world now, online dating is just a virtual way of meeting new people. People you probably would never have crossed paths with, if not online.

Just like being out in a club or a bar, you see what you like and go for it.  You might get turned down or ignored, but on to the next.

I am still single and have yet to meet my match. But I will continue to online date for the fun of it. Who knows my King could be one click away.

And what I said it.

The Wonder Years of the Workplace


In today’s workplace everybody has a certain role they play.  Similar to the cliques and crews we had in high school. Sadly to say, most adults re-live their high school years in the workplace. The workplace is an environment where you can re-create yourself and attempt to modify your persona.  That is, until you are exposed for your lies and deceit, and you dread going back to the office the next day. Yup, just like high school.


Typically, when you start your first day at a new job, almost immediately you can determine where you will fit in. There are the jocks who always brag about going to gym right after work to get in a quick work out, or the ones that get up extra early to run a few miles before coming to work. And the adult males who still wear basketball shorts under their suits, just in case a pick-up game of basketball ensues.

There are the cool guys and gals that party way to hard the night before and always have a cool story to tell about it. (Particularly my type of people!) These guys are usually slackers at work, they do the bear minimum, just enough for the boss to not grow suspicious of their lazy work ethic. You have to watch out for the cool kids.  They can be so intriguing and compelling to where you end up finishing their work while totally enthralled in one of their awesome stories.

Then there are the nerds and over achievers, those who go above and beyond the call of duty and makes the rest of the mediocre staff look bad. They come to work early or on time, they take only their designated coffee breaks, never over the allotted time given. And they do what they are told to do, no exceptions. These are the conformed type that the government has crafted, but that’s for another day.  This group usually takes their job way too seriously. Bosses pet! But they are usually the first group to look at when considering raises and promotions.  You can only hang in this group: if you have been praised by management, kissed the ass of management, have the desire to become management one day, or if you don’t fit in any other group.


And no matter what type of work environment you are in, there is always a #teammessy. A group of men and women who create, spread, and intensify workplace gossip.  This set of people can make or break a productive and comfortable work environment. I despise this group in particular.  This group is so reminiscent of high school it’s not funny. These group members mix and mingle among the other groups prying for any piece of gossip within ear reach.  They lie, connive, deceive, and manipulate, just to make the day more interesting.  It does not take much for #teammessy to take action, all they need is 1/4th of a truth to create an outlandish and whimsical tale to spread across the company, rapidly.

#Teammessy is a very dangerous group.  They wear disguises as friends, but will stab you in the back with company logo pens.  Sounds familiar? Remember your best friend from homeroom, remember the secret they couldn’t keep? Tragic. But now, as adults that secret can ruin your whole career.

Moral of the story chose your groups wisely. Like your mother used to say, “Birds of a feather, flock together”.  Remember management will notice the workplace cliques and treat you accordingly.